


Little boxes

by nenuphar



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M, broken ohmiya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-07
Updated: 2012-08-07
Packaged: 2017-11-11 15:23:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/479963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nenuphar/pseuds/nenuphar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love is looking at each other. Love is looking in the same direction. And sometimes love is looking at someone from afar. An angsty drabble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little boxes

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Arashi Debut Meme on livejournal. For this prompt: 
> 
> "Writing down my castle of time and harmony; our distance and that person. angst, romance"

Lovers. Friends. Friends with benefits. Affair partners. Fuck buddies. Platonic lovers. Soul mates. Kindred spirits. Strangers. Acquaintances. Colleagues. There were so many different words to describe the way human beings felt about each other. All of them were just another way to put feelings into tiny little boxes, wrap them up and store them away. Every box had their own rules and going from one to the other meant breaking down walls and risk destroying everything in the process. Even the word ‘feelings’ in itself was like a box, the plural suggested a number of things that you could or should be able to count individually, as though they didn't all belong together in the first place.

Nino hated these boxes and he hated that everyone around him not only had those boxes but expected him to have them as well. For him, it wasn't that easy and it was never harder than in the case of his…of Ohno. If he had to put it in words, Nino would say that he simply saw Ohno. Always had and always would. Whatever happened, however much he wanted to pull himself away, in the end all his steps led him to the older idol and everywhere he looked, he'd see Ohno, who in turn would be completely oblivious to the fact that he inhabited the center of Nino’s world.  
Ohno had a box. And Ohno didn't think about it, didn't have to challenge the notion of what love really meant for the world or the people around him. For Ohno, love simply meant Jun. 

Nobody would have predicted it at first, but somewhere during their fifth or sixth year together, there had been a shift, a change between them. What had started out as awkward rubbing of shoulders and holding onto the other when things got stressful soon turned into meaningful silences, shared jokes that the others couldn't get into and looking at each other across the room, comfortable in knowing that the other was there with them.  
Nino saw it all. He saw the way Ohno’s shoulders hunched when Jun couldn't be with them and how his eyes lit up when he suddenly appeared anyway. He saw how Jun would bring another bento for their leader whenever he made his own breakfast. He noticed, too, how the two of them tried to keep it hidden for as long as possible and how relieved they were when they were found out after all. 

The hardest part of it, surprisingly, was how much Ohno tried to not let it change things between them. How often he'd bring up the skinship between the two of them during interviews. How he'd sit next to Nino during their shows, no matter what the producers wanted. It hurt because the more Ohno pretended that everything between them was alright, that everything they were fit neatly into the friendship box, the more obvious it was that he knew it was wrong. It hurt, because it let Nino pretend that they didn't need the boxes and that he could watch Ohno, and just Ohno, despite it all. It hurt because he couldn't get angry at Jun, couldn't feel betrayed and that left him with … emptiness. Wherever Ohno was, his steps would lead. He'd always see him. But Ohno would never look back.


End file.
